Searching for ayahuasca somewhere in Germany


Somewhere in Germany…

This is what happens when a young and inexperienced European shaman travels from Peru to Germany to lead an ayahuasca ceremony: the plant’s spirit doesn’t follow! It stays back home in Peru. Seriously, I am not kidding you…

And here is how it happened: the three traditional Peruvian jungle shamans were not allowed to leave Lima by the airport authorities. They were the ones meant to come and lead a European ayahuasca tour. In view of the situation, the foreign owners of the ayahuasca center that the Shipibo shamans belong to in Peru, then decide to suddenly name a young European apprentice the head shaman… instead of canceling the tour! Which would have of course been the right thing to do.

Anyhow, not knowing what a screw up this would be, I was looking forward to my first ayahuasca experience. Having learnt from a different Peruvian shamanic tradition, I am not experienced with working with this specific plant (which is typically used by the jungle shamans of Amazon). In my preparation work, I adhered to a strict diet but also connected with the spirit of ayahuasca. I wanted to get the feel of her spirit and learn from her directly before meeting her in ceremony.

I tracked that ayahuasca is a feminine spirit without any doubt. A very strong and wise feminine spirit. I afterwards read the accounts of ayahuasca being called a ‘mother’ or ‘grandmother’ by the indigenous people of the Amazon which confirmed to me its feminine properties. While she is protective of you, I found its capricious nature was nothing like motherly to me. I found her to be very demanding and over-encompassing, asking for a total devotion and obedience. Being a free and capricious spirit myself, I made a deal with her and then complied with her teachings before the ceremonies.

Once in the first ceremony, I found myself crammed with over 20 other people in a small room on the floor. Our young shaman leading his first ayahuasca ceremony bravely explained to us his experience: 3 months dieting with the plant… If ever you have one of the most common questions, ‘how to know who is a good shaman’, just look at the way the shaman prepares, opens and protects the sacred space. This is where my trust and confidence went down the drain… Yet, I still took ayahuasca; somewhat out of  respect, somewhat out of curiosity, and mostly trusting I would be supported by my own shaman self. After the initial challenging swallow of the (concentrated) brew, I calmly waited for its chemical effects… I waited a long time. A veeeery long time. Forever. Aaaaand… nothing.

I asked her what happened, she said she never came. The spirit of the plant is tied to the spirit of the land. If you want to meet ayahuasca, you gotta travel to her wilderness jungle land. Or work with a shaman who knows her upside down and has enough experience, presence and power to bring her spirit into the ceremony.

53 thoughts on “Searching for ayahuasca somewhere in Germany

  1. So so cool!! I have taken ayahuasca 3 times the last 2 years, such a life-changing experience. Feels like you’re purging your sins initially and then afterwards you have this amazing body buzz for days. I reached an entirely new state of consciousness the last 2 times, the first time was terrifying haha. I am SO grateful that you followed me, because it’s awesome to discover another blogger who is interested in the same things I am! I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience the positive changes this brew can provide. Also, I was born in Germany bc my dad was in the army, another coincedence with this blog 🙂 Anyhoo, have a nice day!

    • Yes, it’s great that we could connect! I would love to repeat the ayahuasca experience but in the jungle. Where did you do it? It’s an amazing plant teacher, and if you listen she will really stick with you and want to work with you. I feel so lucky 🙂

    • Yes, it’s great we could connect. I really liked F is for Flashback. I know you we’re talking about writing but I could really relate. Often when working with clients on clearing their past, we use flashbacks to lead us to past experiences but it’s very important not to get caught in them. Tricky as you said 🙂

  2. When you say past, do you mean this life, or are you the kind of healer who can go back and untie the knots in a client’s karma? A neighbor of mine does that kind of work. “Soul retrieval,” I think she calls it. Healing the wounds and conflicts from other lives that continue to make trouble in this one.

    • 🙂 I work from the place of my client, so it can be their current, past or even future lifetimes. In shamanism time is circular rather than linear. You can use various techniques depending again on your client and were they are at, and what they can integrate. Soul retrieval has to do with ‘lost’ soul parts that need to be reintegrated. It is not necessarily related to past life times but can be. Hope this helps. Please don’t hesitate to ask more 🙂

      • That sounds really interesting…. I’d like to know more and maybe work with you? 🙂 I feel like I could use some healing. I’m also trying to find a good place for ayahuasca in Europe. I’m in France. I’m hoping to go to South America sometime within the next year, but I’m not sure if it will happen or not and I would love to do this over the summer, while I have a lot of free time. Is there a way to email you?

  3. Ah, I thought I was getting some of my terms mixed up. I do wonder how one loses a piece of one’s soul, and how you as the healer would find it and bring it back. Is it a tanglble thing? Is it pure energy? Is it more like a thoughtform?

    • Your physical body is enveloped by an energy body. Just like your physical body can get sick or dis-eased, so can your energy body. Losing a piece of soul means that a part of your soul becomes dis-eased, i.e. its energy form disintegrates. This usually happens in times of great trauma or distress, and we may or may not have memory of it happening. A good shaman is able to track that time for you (or a pattern you have been carrying). And she or he can see the energy forms behind the pattern and be able to restore them for you. This is why shamans are called energy doctors or medicine women and men.
      Ayahuasca for example enhances a person’s ability to see energy and energy forms. This is why many people who drank ayahuasca report seeing geometrical forms, and various organic and inorganic beings.
      As humans we are obliged to use thought forms as part of our usual way of functioning, but all thoughtforms are at the same time energy forms. I am not sure how tangible this all is to you, but the more you practice the more tangible it becomes 🙂

  4. Thanks for the likes in my blogs. I find this intriguing! I read Carlos Castaneda’s books when I was in my late teens and this story reminds me a little of his experiences.

    • Carlos Castaneda… I really like some of his work, especially his later books. And I find Don Juan quiet amazing! From my own experiences, I consider Don Juan’s teachings probably the closest to how the universe operates spiritually / energetically. And for those of us interested in navigating other spiritual realms, his advice is unbeatable 🙂

  5. I’m sorry about your experience, but I took Ayahuasca while I was living in South Africa and had deeply transformational experiences. The Ayahuascueros (?) were Brazilian Amazon people, (husband and wife team) and the way they created the space, sang their songs and held the energy, was a great learning curve for me. I’ve been meaning to blog about it (I did it in 2008) but haven’t yet found the right words to express such an experience.

    • South Africa! yes, that’s where I fell in love with Africa 🙂
      I can imagine that expressing all that happens while being led and taught by ayahuasca must be complex to integrate and even more complex to share with others…
      I just wanted to point out the importance of doing it properly. I had a feeling that it wasn’t the right time/space for me but something kept pushing me to go for it (maybe my ego 🙂
      I honestly do not think that ayahuasca is for everybody or that just anybody should be leading the ceremonies. Only true ayahuascueros.
      And I definitely learnt it from my own experience…

  6. Perhaps your power was stronger than the shaman’s energy and you weren’t able to absorb the benefits of the plant. I so look forward to my journey with you…hopefully soon…thanks for following my blog!

  7. Hello everyone , thought i would search for Ayahuasca in Germany, planning a trip to Europe in the very near future. The Medicine has been calling me for a while 🙂 in order to get some real powerful healing :….) Wondering if there is a someone to talk to who conducts ceremonies or shaman in Germany ? I am a Turtle Island Carver ( aka north american indian ) Any help would be greatly appreciated many blessings to you all !!!

    • Hi Jadeon, thanks for your interest! I guess if you read my post you will not be surprised that I could not recommend doing ayahuasca in Europe… And certainly not with the same group of people I have done it with… And I do not know of anybody else, sorry.
      But I would be more than interested to learn about your experience if ever you do decide to go for it in Europe.

      And also, excuse my ignorance, I do not know about Turtle Island Carvers, but would love to understand more.

      Finally, if you really insist 🙂 and send me your contact info, I could give you the name of the ayahuasca center in Peru who organizes ceremonies in Europe. They do have a very good reputation in Peru and apart from this year’s flops, it seems like they did a good job in Europe previously.

  8. Pingback: An Intriguing Religion … Shamanism | EMPOWERED RESULTS ~ Creating A Difference In Our Communities...

  9. Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks!

  10. Thank you liking my post and directing me to your blog:) I had my ayahuasca experience in Holland with a group of European shamans. It really was a transformational experience. Besides we had an amazing music. My friends are keeping going to same shaman, since I moved to N.America hopefully I will attend one in Peru.

  11. Hi! Thanks for your blog, I found it very informative. I’ve been looking for an Ayahuasca experience in Germany and stumbled on one in the Netherlands, tried to make a reservation but unfortunately got on the reserve list only. Do you meanwhile have other recommendations in Germany or somewhere close by? Is there any way to connect to the Ayahuasca spirit? Thanks in advance and have a great day 🙂

    • Hi,
      Thanks for liking my blog. I have sent you some info on ayahuasca in Holland and Germany via email.
      As for connecting with ayahuasca, apart from doing a thorough research on its healing and psychedelic properties, I believe that dieting is essential. Any serious ayahuasca center or ayahuascero will make dieting an absolute requirement prior to participating in ayahuasca ceremonies. Hope this helps! xox

    • Hi, thanks for the info. I have approved your comment because you replied to another reader. Next time though I would prefer that you share your contact details with me first via email or my contact page
      I would then decide if I would share your details with the readers of my blog, privately. You may notice that I have never displayed publicly any ayahuasca group’s details. I am no expert on ayahuasca and do not have much personal experience, therefore I do not feel comfortable recommending any particular ceremonies (unless they were experimented and recommended by the people I know and trust).
      Thank you for your understanding

  12. Hi there

    I am from South Africa and would love to know if there is an authentic and reputable person in South Africa who is able to work with ayahuasca for spiritual development and healing purposes. After doing extensive research, many believe that a curandero is more suitable than an Ayahuascero, as the former is trained to heal, while the latter is only able to prepare and administer the ayahuasca.

    Can you please advise?

  13. Hi, I do not know of anybody in South Africa but have previously found two interesting links to explore for somebody else who asked me. If you are interested, please contact me through my blog or FB page
    I am sorry I cannot advise you on differences between working with ayahuascero and curandero, I am no expert on ayahuasca… I have simply described my own personal experience of ayahuasca and the importance of working with the right person. I imagine that any serious curandero has also either prepared the brew as well, or have in some way participated in or followed its preparation. But I could be wrong 🙂

  14. Thank you for following my blog. The Mother plant is an incredible and very intimate experience. I am leading a group to Peru in June 2014 if you are interested. I also have a wonderful Shaman with sacred land near Iquitos & once in a while I take people there. Continue to trust yourself. Munay~

    • Thanks for letting me know! I already have plans for the summer, my summers always busy in a good way 🙂
      But I do get many inquires about ayahuasca retreats, mainly in Europe, but also worldwide, and won’t hesitate to share your contact. Munay xox

  15. I agree with your observations, the spirit of Ayahuasca is a very powerful and compassionate feminine spirit. My 3 encounters with her gave me some deep personal insights into the nature of my/our being and cleansing. I did these retreats at the Ayahuascha Wasi in Pisac ( Diego who runs it sometimes does retreats outside of Peru. I’m not sure whether he does any in Europe of not.

    I have noticed both at these ceremonies and in subsequent talks with other people who have done Ayahuasca retreats, that people’s reactions to them can vary enormously. Some find them deeply relaxing and peaceful, others find them deeply disturbing and physically and emotionally very demanding, with many variations in between these extremes. So its best to approach them with an open heart and mind.

    Hello, my name is Ramon Gonzalez. I am a spanish 30 years old profession man working and living in Berlin for about two years and a half. I have been researching and reading a lot about Ayahuasca and it’s empathogenic effects. I have a personal question and I hope that it is OK for me to ask you. I wonder if you know some place where can have a Ayahuasca ritual with some guide in Berlin or near Berlin. I think I am ready for the experience and it is a debt with myself. I obviously would like to have it with someone more experienced and in a private scenario. Thanks for your help in advance. Ramon Gonzalez.

    • Hi, thanks so much for visiting my blog and liking my FB page. I am no expert on ayahuasca but will share with you, via email, a couple of links that I got from readers of my blog. Good luck! xox

  17. Hello, thank you for this!
    Wondering whether you could share the links that you got from your blog readers with me too? I would like to find contacts in Berlin, Germany and/or Ireland.
    Many thanks.

  18. Maybe you’d be interested in the concept of psychogeography.

    Carlos Castaneda… I really like some of his work, especially his later books.

    I must admit I have a profoundly different view of Castaneda to you, perhaps due to my perspective as an indigenous person (Australian Aborigine). To me his appropriation and gross misrepresentation of the spiritual traditions of another culture – and the effects that had on the Yaqui people when his books became popular – mark him out as a harmful fraud of the worst kind, on par with Marlo Morgan and her ignorant and dishonest abuse of indigenous Australian spirituality.

    The Yaqui don’t even use peyote in religious ceremonies. They never did. However a neighbouring tribe does and the effects of thousands of misinformed Castanedadistas descending upon them imagining that they could somehow understand or participate in their religious life after having read a few fraudulent books has been at least as harmful to them as the overwhelming media boosted meme of grossly misrepresented culture has been to the Yaqui.

    • Hi, thanks for the link – will check it out. I am no expert on psychedelics of any kind and do not use any in my work. It is quite easy for me to see energy and navigate the world(s) of energy. It is in this sense that I appreciate Castaneda’s work. He (or his teacher Don Juan) is very good and serious when it comes to astral travel and navigating the worlds of astral and inorganic beings – this part in my experience is not specifically related to Yaquis or any other spiritual tradition but is a common experience to all of us ‘astral travelers’. Many people have a tendency to glorify spiritual, energetic and so called ‘enlightening’ experiences (the main reason why so many are attracted to working with psychedelics) without fully understanding the consequences for one’s well being, psyche and energy body. The consequences may be even bigger when a laic attempts to lead others through such experiences – which is what my post is all about…
      Please know that I have high respect for all spiritual traditions and I am sorry if Castaneda’s work contributed to misinterpreting the Yaqui tradition. I have to be honest in saying that I think of Castaneda as universal and not representing Yaqui heritage but maybe this is my on deliberate ignorance of his initial books. It is his later books that I often come back to. Please also know that I am fully aware that Castaneda led a controversial life. I judge supposedly ‘enlightened’ people by the way they lead their life rather than their spiritual experiences. Hence he is not ‘enlightened’ in my own books 🙂 But. again, I consider his writing to be the closest to how I experience the world of spirit. He is tough and he is no bullshit. The world of spirit is fascinating and tough.
      I feel sad that many great great indigenous spiritual traditions are on decline. I know that “the whites of the world” are trying to pick up on what they historically help destroy and we shall see where this will lead us… I am fully aware that we cannot just step into another tradition and have the full appreciation of its depth, its connectedness and finesse. Yet, at the same time, the world of spirit is so universal, if we can step out of what limits us as human beings. I am still hoping that “the Red Nation shall rise again and it shall be a blessing for a sick world” (
      Many blessings on your journey xox

  19. I have just attended an Ayahuasca ceremony in Berlin and had almost the same experience. I found myself crammed with 40 other people in a yoga/meditation center in Neukölln, with an European “shaman”, who acted more or less, like a cheap therapist. In the beginning of the ceremony, they played music, in order to create the atmosphere suitable for the experience, I was surprised to find that they were just playing Egyptian pop songs, that are completely unrelated to Ayahuasca! (I grew up in Egypt, Arabic is my first language) Everyone else, unaware of the language/type of music playing, meditated spiritually to the “exotic tunes”. I had to laugh.
    This was already a very bad sign, however, out of curiosity, I decided to go on with the experience. I drank and waited, waited….Nothing. Now, I do realize that in some cases, the peak is not completely reached during your 1-2 ceremony, that it takes time but based on the entire experience/quality of this retreat, I am doubtful that it was even Ayahuasca that I drank.
    I left feeling very disappointed and ripped off. It was an expensive joke.

    • Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your experience. I’m sorry it was a disapointing one (I’d even call it cheating?), I guess it just shows how much we are lacking in understanding and appreciating traditions that are so ancient and meaningful… Confusing Arabic with Icaros chanting (which is unique to each shaman) is hilarious LOL I can’t believe they just played a recording for ‘ambiance’… Not serious…
      This leaves me even more convinced that such experiences should be seeked where they belong, in Amazonia. Hope we both make it there once 🙂 luv xox

  20. i completely agree about keeping things, traditions, foods and practices native to its own land. many people don’t realise the power that land has, how it shapes everything in its boundaries.

    pray tell, what kind of shamanic equivalents have you found in the EU and/or UK? after having lived 7 years in germany, i realised i must make peace with the land and not just follow her foods and fasting/healing techniques. it’s strange…. i am part native american, and do feel i belong to the land/water/skies of that region (midwest USA) but politically it’s impossible to return. environmentally, the reservations are being polluted by whites.

    any thoughts on how one can “survive” as a transplant? i know that living creatures are built to adapt inherently, but can one also thrive in a foreign territory?

    thanks for sharing this, and blessed be.

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